


Kill It With Fire

by Maximus_Prime



Category: Naruto
Genre: BAMF Sakura, BAMF Uchiha Sasuke, F/F, F/M, Fire, Gen, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Itachi is best bro, M/M, Multi, Other, Reader Insert, Swearing, Uchiha Sasuke Has Issues, Uchiha are pyromaniacs, You Have Been Warned, don’t tell me differently, lots of fire, lots of swearing, more to be added later - Freeform, ninjas are hacks, no beta we die like men, reader - Freeform, reader is Sasuke, until he fucking listened to Danzos shit, wakes up in Naruto
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-29
Updated: 2020-05-10
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:48:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23911093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maximus_Prime/pseuds/Maximus_Prime
Summary: You will always remember the day you befriended the blonde knucklehead. Mostly for the look Fugaku had given when he saw you wander home hand in hand with the whiskery gremlin and the almost laugh Itachi had made when standing to the side of the whole event.Looks like everyone joking about daddy uchiha being a functional alcoholic payed off. Hah.At least this will be memorable.Thank god Kakashi was already grey
Relationships: To Be Decided
Comments: 14
Kudos: 86





	1. When Is It Okay To Ask For A Refund On Life?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TheOneKrafter](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheOneKrafter/gifts).



Your awareness of facts was an over night situation. Waking up as a small child when you go to sleep as a definitely not small child was a cause for concern. Said concern being code for a minor or not so minor freak out and hopeful fever dream.

In a detached and vague manner you glare down at the plain blue futon piled partially in your lap. Last night that was a comical pattern of cartoon sloths. A joke from a friend of yours for your lethargic nature. You look around the room and find it particularly bland. If this is a kids room then it's shitty. Though you spot a small mirror in the corner on a small dresser.

Standing up is more and less of a process. You distinctly remember being much taller and it's weird how quick you reach your "full" hight. Fucking fun sized bullshit, indeed. In what can only be described as a valiant imitation of a drunkard you stumble to the mini dresser and peer into the mirror.

Frankly, you don't know what you were expecting. Yourself, yourself but small, a gremlin, David Bowie, a giant cat or anything thing else. Any of the above mentioned would probably still leave you with many questions and more concerns. Hell what you did see did just that. Kidnapping would have been a treat in comparison to the little chubby face staring back at you from the mirror.

Wild tufts of black spiky hair, matching solidly black eyes and very pale skin. 

The actual fuck.

This was also the moment the sliding door you never even acknowledge slid open and a very Itachi looking child shuffled in.

If you hadn't fainted you'd have stared at the old man stress lines on the poor tiny bastards face. He doesn't deserve the shit he puts up with.

The last thing your aware of is a extremely panicked Itachi lurching forward at you with almost frightening speed.

Ninjas, what hacks.


	2. Family “Fun”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cause any of this makes sense
> 
> Right?
> 
> Right.

There's something about waking up to Itachi's caring yet stony face that you'll never quite get over. You've had siblings, but none quite so...

Invested.

Yes they cared, but in the way of showing just enough that it isn't blatant avoidance and never more then what it would take to break their cool little facades. Younger siblings and age gaps. And people call us spoiled. Not our fault the parents resort to silent bribery in an effort for us not to make things hell...... granted, some of us were just fucking assholes so to each their own.

Honestly your of two minds on this matter. One part of you is wall warm and fuzzy and wants to spend the day in mini Itachi's lap. The other part of you is is monologuing away in the corner of your mind that can only be deciphered as just, unholy screaming.

"Fever? No.."

The quivered monotone of Itachi's voice drag you out of the howling recesses of your mind and you stare up at him in a carefully blank expression.

"Uh"

Eloquent, no?

It also wasn't long before you were dragged off to the terrifying, yet rather delightful, Mikoto. Your not actually sure why the mere thought of her induces ungodly amounts of fear and love, but mothers are magic in their own ways..... something about disappointed stares and awkward silences.

There was one thing that was clear to you. In power and authority; Fugaku rained supreme if you were ignorant to the elders leering from over his shoulder. Genetically and emotionally? Uchiha are all mama's boys. Take away the fear inspiring glares and demonic hack eyes the clans head family all looked very much like Mikoto. Especially Itachi. No wonder he's all so warm and fuzzy.

And here you are, staring up at the Uchiha matriarch. She fussed over you now small self just as much as Itachi did.

Granted it was only later you found out through some good old detective work, dumb luck and listening in when you should be asleep but your too cute to scold. For now at least. 

As it turns out little Sasuke had gotten some freak of nature fever and was bed ridden for week or so. Said fever broke around the time Itachi found the now you fainting.

Honestly you really don’t know what’s up. Be it some kind of reincarnation, or some batshit crazy scheme. You now enough that this shit is as weird as little Itachi is adorable.


	3. Down With The Elderly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Being under house arrest is boring but hey, there’s Shisui and your a spiteful being with now too much time on your hands. 
> 
> Yes, you could plan to make the world a better place, but then again, how the fuck could you actually do anything with out death or being locked in a box until your 30

It's been two months and you are DONE. A "sudden" shift in personality isn't something one can hide, no matter your acting skills. You've been under lock and key all thanks too the Uchiha clan elders. Claiming your "fragile", "addled" and the like. 

I'll show you fucking fragile you stupid pile of scornful old toads.

No... wait, that's an insult to Jiraiya. 

They're so much worse.

Fugaku had been avoiding you every moment he could. "Loving" father as he may be, caring in that, "do your best" shoulder pat. You don't pretend to understand what's going on in his mind and you don't really plan to. It's hard to attach yourself to someone who's going to die. Well, actually you can but it's a mess. It's just easier because he's never around.

Mikoto on the other hand, wouldn't let you out of her sight most the time. Not that you tried to leave. Being a small child in a big house is maddening. More often if Itachi was busy you'd follow her around and help. You liked helping and not just because it made Mikoto smile.

Speaking of which, Itachi. The main man, the future “murdered my clan, traumatised my beloved brother and self proclaimed pacifist ninja” guy. Itachi at first had been clingy and was constantly codling. He’d relaxed a smidge over time, letting you do as you pleased, with in some reason of course. And were you gonna use Itachi’s love for his brother? Yes, yes you were. Adorable sibling hugs were everywhere. It was also around this point you first “met” the oh so legendary Shisui. 

One thing can be said for Shisui. For a guy who’s part of a clan that only ever wears dark blue, black and sometimes, very dark grey, he was colourful. Not literally, but his being was just loud, if that sense. You blame the fact he likely had natural 20s for a charisma roll. It’s interesting knowing that he was, is, Itachi’s only actual friend. 

He’d come charging in and inserted himself into your rather dull existence without apology and frankly? You’d thank the cheeky fucker for it. 

————————

Shisui has heard via rumours and from Itachi himself about what had happened. One day Sasuke got sick, sicker and then woke up, 

Odd.

Sasuke has always been a rather happy child who’d cling to Itachi’s shirt and follow him around everywhere. He’d train himself silly in order to please his father. He’d hang around his mother and was frankly a pretty normal kid, uchiha or not.

Shisui has invited himself over and found the little gremlin half asleep, like a large cat, in Itachi’s lap. Over all nothing really seemed different at first glance, apart from that fact little Sasuke looked, tired? Mildly exasperated? It was just odd to see a child look like a particularly done with life academy instructor.

Shisui didn’t laugh. He really didn’t. Itachi also didn’t raise an eyebrow at him in that way he does when he sees something stupid, which may be quite a lot. 

Sasuke had looked up at him with a rather calculated look, apparently finding something he deemed noteworthy and going back to sleep on Itachi’s lap.

It was weird, cause generally Sasuke would pester him for training or for taking up his older brothers time. Shisui couldn’t decide if this was an improvement or sign the world war ending. It just, was.

——————

From an outside point of view no one really knew what started it. From an inside view, it was all Sasuke.

Being bored was a dangerous thing, a mutant toddler just made it more so. Last time you couldn’t set things on fire by breathing. Last time you didn’t have Itachi or Shisui. 

Itachi being the enabler and the Shisui the influencer.

And you the bored guy.

Ninjas and pranks. Like a house on fire. Naruto was truly onto something.

And your preferred target of choice? Why, the clan elders of course! Bunch of old bastards had done little to endear them selves to anyone with their outdated thinking and constant bullying. You knew that in the years to come Danzo would force Itachi to choose, the clan or the village. It was silly to think that you could actually change anything, you were what? 4? And even if you did there was well, Danzo and his ROOT, the ever useless Sarutobi hanging around, Orochimaru, and so many others. 

So here you are, some what spiteful and willing to ruins someone’s day. Just not Itachi’s. While you liked Itachi when he was a face on a screen, even if you didn’t agree with how he did things, waking up as Sasuke had, changed things. For example? Ever eaten a tomato like an apple? You’d hated tomato’s a life time ago, and now you actively craved them. Itachi had his Dango, but never really cared for tomatoes himself. Talk about uchiha and their obsessive love. Bunch of moody cat people. But that’s beside the point, you actively cares about your now family and it was weird. Like waking up with a muscle reflex you didn’t know you had. Joy.

Currently you’d asked Shisui who in turn helped you robe Itachi into dying the elders robs bright, eye catching colours. You were careful, ninja after all. And it was fun to watch them squirm when they fumed, but couldn’t prove anything.

So here you are, accepting that there are things you can’t change, but you can change how you handle them.

Like how this elder now is gonna be trailing magenta and yellow glitter everywhere.


End file.
